City of Thieves

Orphanage Troubles

The Crimson Fucker spat, and muttered a curse under his breath. This was getting messy, they had just killed a second nun. Good thing he wasn’t religious.
This was supposed to go quickly, a diversion to let them use the rest of the night to perform the actual heist. And it was quickly turning into a clusterfuck.
Oh well – now that the nuns were out of the way, maybe they could speed this along. Now where were Babyface and The Knife with the orphans?

A moment later, The Knife came down the stairs, carrying a child. Where’s the rest of them? the Crimson Fucker wondered.
She looked concerned. “Crimson, the children have disappeared.”
Fuck’s sake.
“Also, we’re not alone in here. Something is sneaking about, and there’s cackling coming from the coal basement.” She continued.
The Crimson Fucker twitched.
“Ah, that’s probably the same guy who killed one of the pigs. Followed us from the forest, I think” The Drip said from the kitchen.
At that point the Crimson Fucker was about to snap. Nothing could ever be fucking easy.
Noticing the build-up of rage, the Knife shot him a murderous look. “Don’t you dare swear in front of the child.”
The Crimson Fucker could not have stopped himself any more than he could an avalanche, but he knew better than to piss off the Knife, and he had just enough self-control left to apply some self-censorship:

SON OF A GUMCHEWING FUNKMONSTER! Why the FRUIT does all the FUNNY STUFF always happen to me? It’s like this whole city just likes to BEND ME OVER, and FIND ME IN THE ALPS! FUDGE my life. Well, as far as I care, these MISERABLE COWS can have a FANCY BARBECUE, WITH A GODDARN PIG!”

“You done?”
The Crimson Fucker spat. “Yeah, I’m done. Let’s go check the basement.”
He didn’t have many rules, but one of the few he did have was that you don’t hurt kids. Growing up here their lives would be fucked up enough without that kind of shit.
Whoever – or whatever – had taken the orphans was in for a world of hurt, followed by a gruesome death. And then, they would be out of The Crimson Fucker’s life forever.


david_mcnee_05 DarthIB

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